you my...brown eyed girls

I HEARD THIS SONG THATS PLAYING "BROWN EYED GIRL" AND IT MADE ME THINK OF MY LITTLE BROWN EYED GIRLS! I ALWAYS LOVED HAVING BIG BROWN EYES GROWING UP AND I LOVE THAT NOW I'VE PASSED THEM ONTO MY DAUGHTERS! I LOVE LOVE LOVE HAVING BROWN EYED GIRLS!

THIS IS A LOVELY PICTURE OF ME I KNOW BUT ITS THE ONLY ONE I COULD FIND SHOWING ALL 3 OF OUR BROWN EYES!

had to finish off the post with one of my favorite funny pictures of ry and her crazy eyes :)

I sure love you too dad

* I KNOW I HAVE BLOGGED A LOT ABOUT MY DAD SO DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS CAUSE ITS KIND OF LONG. I WANTED TO BLOG THIS SO I DON'T FORGET THE SWEET MOMENTS THAT FALL INBETWEEN THE EVERYDAY HEARTACHE OF MY DADS DISEASE*

INSIDE I SAW MY DAD UP THE STAIRS TIPPING OVER, HOLDING THE STACK OF NEWSPAPERS HE HAD BEEN READING. I RAN AND HELPED HIM SIT DOWN.

"DAD," I SAID, "YOU NEED TO ASK FOR HELP YOU'RE GOING TO FALL AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT!"

I WAS HAVING A LONG DAY WITH MY LITTLE GIRLS AND MY NERVES WERE SO SHOT. I TOOK THE PAPERS AND WENT AND PUT THEM IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER WHERE DAD WAS TRYING TO PUT THEM, ONLY IT TOOK ME 2 SECONDS AND WOULD HAVE TAKEN DAD 20 MINUTES. AS I WAS DOING SO, I REALIZED HOW IRRITATED I HAD ACTED WITH MY SWEET DAD AND LOOKED UP TO SEE HIM ONCE AGAIN TRYING TO STAND UP, HIS KNEES BUCKELING AND HUNCHED OVER. I RAN OVER TO HIM, EXCEPT THIS TIME INSTEAD OF HELPING HIM SIT DOWN I STOOD HIM UP STRAIGHT AND GAVE HIM A HUG. AS I HUGGED HIM I STARTED TO TEAR UP AND THEN SOON WAS SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY. DAD HUGGED ME TIGHT, GENTLY PATTED MY BACK AND IN HIS QUITE RASPY VOICE SAID, "OH KATE, I SURE LOVE YOU."AS I STOOD THERE HOLDING ONTO, AND PRETTY MUCH HOLDING UP MY FRAIL DAD, WHO IN MY EYES HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE BIGGEST AND STRONGEST MAN ALIVE, A MILLION THOUGHTS RACED THROUGH MY HEAD.

WHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST STANDING HUG DAD CAN EVER GIVE ME, WHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST HUG PERIOD DAD EVER GIVES ME, HE'S LIVED A SUCH GOOD LIFE SO WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS, WHY DO I HAVE TO WATCH HIM GO THROUGH THIS, WHY DOES HIS BRILLIANT MIND HAVE TO BE SO CRAZY NOW. SO MANY WHAT IFS, AND SO MANY WHYS. I WANTED TO TELL HIM I'M GOING TO MISS YOU DAD, I WANTED TO TELL HIM I WAS SORRY HE'S HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS MISERABLE TRIAL, I WANTED TO YELL UP AT GOD WHY WON'T YOU FIX THIS, BUT INSTEAD I JUST SAID, " I SURE LOVE YOU TOO DAD." I LET HIM GO AND WENT AND GOT HIS WHEELCHAIR, SLOWLY WHEELED HIM INTO HIS ROOM AND HELPED HIM INTO BED TO TAKE A NAP. AS I DRAPED THE BLANKET OVER HIM MAKING SURE HIS FEET WERE COVERED JUST HOW HE LIKES, HE STARTED RAMBLING OFF SOMETHING ABOUT HOW FUN IT WILL BE TO CELEBRATE THE PIONEER HOLIDAY TOMORROW. (MIND YOU HE WAS TALKING ABOUT JULY 24 AND TODAY IS AUGUST 10)ANYWAY, I SAID "YEP IT WILL BE FUN, GET SOME GOOD REST SO YOU'LL FEEL UP TO CELEBRATING..., I LOVE YA DAD," AND I LEFT THE ROOM.

AS I'VE GONE THROUGH THE REST OF THE DAY HIS SWEET VOICE SAYING, OH KATE I SURE LOVE YOU, HAS IN SOME ODD WAY PUT MY TROUBLED AND FRUSTRATED MIND AT EASE. IN THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS MY DADS MIND HAS REALLY STARTED TO SLIP AWAY. I DID A LOT BETTER WITH HIS BODY FAILING IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS DISEASE THEN I'VE BEEN DOING WITH HIM LOSING HIS SHARP MIND. SOMEDAYS ITS EASY TO LAUGH AT THE WEIRD AND OFF THE WALL THINGS HE SEES, AND SAYS AND SOMEDAYS ITS ALL I CAN DO BUT BURST INTO TEARS. HE CONSTANTLY SEES ANIMALS RUNNING ACROSS THE FLOOR OR BUGS OR BIRDS FLYING PAST HIM. HE THINKS THERES RANDOM PEOPLE IN HIS ROOM AND SAND IN HIS BED. HE RARELY KNOWS WHAT DAY IT IS OR THE TIME OF DAY IT IS. HIS MIND RETAINS SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS OR RECENT FACTS ABOUT AS WELL AS A SMALL TODDLERS DOES. I LOOK AT HIM AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I HAVE TRIED I CAN'T GRASP OR UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO HIM. I KNOW HE'S READY TO GO, HE'S TOLD ME HE'S READY, HE'S SAID HE'S NOT SCARED, BUT I AM. I ALREADY MISS HIM SO MUCH AND PHYSICALLY HE'S STILL HERE. I HOPE I CAN HURRY AND LEARN WHAT THE LORD INTENDS FOR ME TO LEARN FROM ALL OF THIS. IN THE MEAN TIME I'LL HOLD ONTO THE FEW AND PRECIOUS MOMENTS I SHARE WITH HIM WHEN I CAN TELL HE'S ALL THERE. I HOPE I NEVER FORGET HOW IT FELT TO HUG HIM TODAY, I HOPE I'LL HEAR HIM SAYING KATE I SURE LOVE YOU, IN THE BACK OF MY MIND FOREVER. I SURE LOVE YOU DAD.

FAMILY PICTURE TIME

TAYA AGE 4 MONTHS

DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I SURE LOVE THIS PICTURE!

PRETTY PAINTED TOES

RYLEE AGE 2 AND ALMOST 1/2 :)

I POSTED ALL THESE ON MY FACEBOOK SO I'M SURE MOST OF YOU HAVE ALREADY SEEN THEM BUT IF YA HAVEN'T HERE YA GO :) WE ATTEMPTED FAMILY PICTURES WITH AN ONRY RYLEE AND ENDED UP GETTING A FEW PRETTY CUTE ONES. GOOD ENOUGH FOR NOW ESPECIALLY WITH SUCH LITTLE KIDS. MY FRIEND ANDI JUST USED OUR CAMERA AND FOLLOWED US AROUND SNAPPING AWAY IN HER PARENTS BEAUTIFUL BACKYARD. THEN SHE DANCED AROUND AND GOT RY TO SMILE WHILE I TOOK A FEW OF HER, AND I JUST EDITED THEM ALL WITH PICASA. IT ENDED UP BEING LOTS OF FUN AND BEST PART ABOUT IT ALL WAS THEM BEING FREE!

BEAUTIFUL MISS CHEEKS IS 4 MONTHS OLD!

AT TAYAS 4 MONTH CHECKUP SHE SHOWED EVERYONE JUST HOW ADVANCED SHE IS...AT LEAST THAT IS, IN THE GROWING DEPARTMENT :) FROM HER 2 MONTH CHECKUP WHERE SHE WEIGHED 12 LBS 14 OZ AND MEASURED 24 INCHES, SHE'S NOW 15 lbs 2 oz. AND 26 inches tall

(DON'T FEEL LIKE YA GOTTA READ ALL THIS I JUST BLOGGED IT SO I DON'T FORGET)

TAYA IS AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO HAVE IN OUR FAMILY! SHE HAS THE SWEETEST PERSONALITY AND IS SO SMILLY.WE JUST LOVE HER TO PIECES, EVERY SINGLE FAT ROLL ON HER! IN THE LAST 2 MONTHS SENSE HER LAST CHECKUP SHE'S GOTTEN HER FIRST HAIR CUT JUNE 12. YEP HER BABY MULLET HAD TO GO :) AND OTHER THEN THAT THERE HAVEN'T BEEN ANY MAJOR MILESTONES OTHER THEN HER STARTING TO TEETH ALMOST SITTING UP AS YOU CAN SEE, AND JUST BEING CUTE AND CHUBBY! :) I JUST LOOKED UP RY'S MEASUREMENTS AND TAYA IS AS BIG AS RYLEE WAS AT HER 6 MONTH CHECKUP! ITS SO FUN TO HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT KIDS! RYLEE WAS SUCH A WIREY BABY AND TAYA IS SO MELLOW AND EASY GOING...JUST WHAT I PRAYED FOR! WE'RE GLAD YA CAME INTO OUR HOME MISS CHEEKS WE COULDN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU!

Once Upon a Time....

WE WENT TO CALIFORNIA, & HERES THE STORY OF OUR ADVENTURE!

WE FLEW AND FLEW ON A "BIG PLANE" TRAVELING WITH 2 KIDS IS A BLAST! BOTH GIRLS DID REALLY GOOD THOUGH CONSIDERING WE FLEW AN HOUR TO PHOENIX HAD A 2 HOUR LAYOVER AND THEN FLEW ANOTHER HOUR TO CARLSBAD. BUT WHEN WE ARRIVED, THE JOURNEY WAS WELL WORTH IT!

OUR LITTLE MISS TAYA EXPERIENCED THE BEACH FOR THE FIRST TIME. SHE WAS PLEASED AS PUNCH TO JUST CHILL IN THE LITTLE BUMBO AND HER PORTA CRIB.

WE TRIED TO GET A NORMAL PICTURE OF DEREK...BUT DIDN'T SUCCEED THIS TIME

WE HAD A FEW TIME OUTS FOR ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENTS :)

WE SUCKED IN FOR A LITTE FAMILY PICTURE..

AND MISS RYLEE HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST! YES IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S SPORTIN A LITTLE HITTLER STASH IN THAT PICTURE. NOTICE HER LITTLE DOG WHICH SHE NAMED "LOU LOU" BUIRED IN THE SAND NEXT TO HER. LOU LOU WAS HER PRIZE FOR BEING A GOOD GIRL ON THE PLANE!

SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN CHASING BIRDS, THE KID BARELY NOTICED HOW FAR SHE WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM ALL OF US. TOO BAD SHE NEVER CAUGHT ONE WITH ALL OF HER HARD WORK!

SHE LEARNED HOW TO BOOGIE BOARD...OK WELL EVERYONE HAD FUN TRYING TO TEACH HER. SHE ALWAYS GETS SO SHOWERED WITH ATTENTION WHEN WE'RE WITH DEREKS FAMILY SHE LOVES IT!

AND OF COURSE THE GIRLS HAD TO HAVE SOME VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS WITH BONKA AND PA PA!

WE HAD TO PAUSE LONG ENOUGH BETWEEN ALL OF OUR PLAYING TO TAKE A FUN SUNBURNED FACE FAMILY PICTURE! THIS IS THE FIRST MILLER FAMILY PICTURE WE'VE TAKEN WITH ALL 3 GRANDDAUGHTERS!

THE 3 BROTHERS. DEREK, DEVIN AND ROB.

WE SPENT LOTS OF TIME EATING GOOD FOOD AND PLAYING WITH FUN COUSINS AND UNCLES AND AUNTS! IT WAS SUCH A VERY NEEDED AND APPRECIATED VACATION! WE ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE SUCH AWESOME PARENTS WHO HELPED US FIND OUR WAY TO CALIFORNIA :) WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THEM! WE WERE SAD TO LEAVE! BUT NEVERTHELESS...

AFTER THE HASTLE OF SECURITY CHECKS AND SIPPY CUPS BEING INVESTIGATED, AND POOPY DIAPERS LEAKING WE GOT ON ANOTHER "BIG PLANE" WITH THE INTENT OF ANOTHER 2 HOUR LAYOVER IN PHOENIX AND THEN ANOTHER HOUR LONG FLIGHT BACK HOME TO UTAH...WELL THAT DIDN'T QUIT HAPPEN...

INSTEAD A MAN WITH HIS MANY KIDS WHO WORKED FOR THE AIRLINES CAME LAST MINUTE AND WAS BUMMPED UP ON PRIORITY ON THE STANDBY LIST AND WE LOST OUR SEATS! SO WE RENTED A CAR FROM STUPID ENTERPRISE AND A ROOM FROM LOVELY MOTEL 6 AND WAITED...RYLEES FACE EXPLAINS IT ALL! GOTTA LOVE THE TWINS WATCHING TV THOUGH :) THAT NIGHT AT ABOUT 11PM RY WAS HUNGRY SO HER AND DEREK WENT ON A LITTLE ADVENTURE TO FIND SOME FOOD...AFTER NOT DARING TO DRIVE TOO FAR FROM OUR MOTEL CAUSE HE DIDN'T WANNA GET LOST DEREK DECIDED TO GOT TO THE ONLY PLACE AROUND...

CHURCHES CHICKEN! HA YES WE ATE CHURCHES CHICKEN FOR DINNER THAT NIGHT AND FOR BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING. DEREKS AWESOME BROTHER ROB HELPED US FIGURE OUT THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT HOME AND AFTER ONE LAST RIDE ON A BIG PLANE WE MADE IT HOME! AND JUST IN TIME FOR...

JORY TO PICK RYLEE UP FOR HER FIRST DATE! WE WERE ABLE TO HANG OUT WITH OUR BEST FRIENDS KEITH AND STACY AND THEIR LITTLE BOYS WHO WERE DOWN FROM ID THAT NIGHT WE GOT HOME WHICH WAS THE END TO AN AWESOME VACATION!

OH YOU THOUGHT OUR WEEK WAS DONE!? NOPE SATURDAY WE FINISHED OFF OUR VACATION WEEK AT ANDI AND EVERETTS LUAU PARTY TO CELEBRATE THEM GETTING MARRIED IN HAWAII! WE HAD SUCH A FUN WEEK! IT WAS A GREAT WAY TO END A LONG YEAR OF DEREK GOING TO SCHOOL!