a couple tears later...

(don't feel like ya have to read this post its more of a little journal entry for me :) but by all means if you're bored, read away!)

Alright so after a good cry last night on the best sholder in the world (dereks) I'm feeling much better. :) poor derek is surrounded by emotional little women that to him probably seem to cry all day at the drop of a pin! But nonetheless he sat and listened to me cry my frustrations out til that stupid wall came tumbling down just enough that I could step right over it and see all the stuff on the other side that I need to be grateful for! I'm blessed! That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes get caught up in the trivial things, or see things that other people have that I wish I did. I've been seeing others thinking how can they ever complain!? they have everything that I've always wanted, and they got it all so easily! I know, such a stupid thing for me to waste energy on, especially when I need so much of it to be the kind of mom and wife I really want to be. This mom job sure is a tough one and sometimes it just feels good to cry cause of it, but there sure are a ton of woman out there who have survied motherhood so I'm sure I can too :) Anyway know this, I do know I'm a very lucky person to have all that I do. Great husband, 2 beautiful daughters of God, An awesome eternal family on both sides, the Gospel, a place to live (even though its crammed right now its, clean, cute, and warm!) and on and on!

hi wall

I've hit a wall. don't wanna work out. feeling gross in my nursing body, getting no sleep and looking over the fence into other peoples yards seeing the illusion of way greener grass ha! so tonight i'm gunna chill up against this stupid wall feeling frustrated and exhausted and tomorrow i'll try and bust it down!

jett puff baby

I hope some day my fat rolls are considered as freaking cute as hers! Taya is our "marshmallow baby" as my funny brother Tony calls her, and yes she's as sweet as she sounds! we love us some TAYA!

BYE BYE BINKY

The first picture................... The Last picture


And a few of them in-between....


BYE BYE binky! Thanks for all the quiet time you've helped me give my mom and dad! I bet they're gunna miss you almost as much as me! Sorry I had to send you away into the sky, but mom said you were making my teeth "bucky teeth" and plus I've decided I'm gunna be a big girl and binkies are for babies! I'll miss you! love Lylee!

Yes I'm doing a blog in honor of our dear friend "the binky"! Even though she's only been getting her binky at nap, and bed time for the last year, looking at her teeth is giving me flash backs to my ugly teeth from sucking my finger so we've taken the leap and said peace out to the binky. I know this will sound so wierd but the sound of Rylee sucking her binky at night,when she was brand new, was one of the most comforting sounds in the world to me during such a hard time in my life. I remember taking her out of her bassenett, laying her next to me and just putting my face next to hers and falling asleep to "the binky sound." I'm sure its going to make some of you laugh but I'm getting teared up now just thinking of it. I've said it many times but Rylee saved our lives...and come to think of it now, I'm sure the binky saved hers a few times too :) We'll miss you binky!

2 year olds prayer

Today at Wal-mart Rylee threw a really big fit over wanting a little purse thing full of lip smackers chapstick as we were leaving the store. She bawled the whole way home about wanting the "make-up" as she called it. When we got home and she calmed down I promised her as soon as she starts pooping in the potty that I'd go buy her the make-up. Well about 4-5 hours we were at my moms and i dished her up some potatoes everyone else had already ate but she said oh gotta say a prayer! So i said go ahead Ry, this is how her prayer went, which she said compelety by herself. "Heavenly Father, Thank you for the food, please some make-up, I poop in the potty, Thank you for Jesus, Jesus Christ, AMEN!" By the time she was done I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes, half because of how funny it was and half because she seemed like such a big girl! I'd like to think that, that Prayer made God smile. Such a pure and honest little prayer, make up and poop was what was important to her! I LOVE THIS GIRL!

Maple Canyon

I love conference weekend! This year my sister Liz and her 4 kids and husband came down and we all went to Maple Canyon. My mom made dutch oven which is my FAVORITE! It was so relaxing to get away from it all and enjoy the beautiful mountains! Rylee loved playing with her cousins too, and as ya can see we had tons of fun!