Found Joy in the Journey

(another long post about dad)
After 3 years battling with his stupid horrible selfish and frustrating disease my Dad has finally gotten to the point where his care needs are surpassing the abilities of my mother. As talk about having him go to a care center permanantly started coming up, I started feeling a strange sense of panic, like that I needed to go to Ephraim every week and help and that maybe I'd be enough help to keep him at home. At home in the home he worked his butt off to build, to pay for, to beautify, to make a safe place for 7 childeren and his wife to call home. He worked 39 years and as I see him now it doesn't feel like he gets to enjoy any of his hard work. I still have this sense of...I'm not even sure what to call it, helplessness, inadaquacy, frustration, anger, saddness...all mixed up in me. The last couple weeks it was all just talk until Wednesday night my mom got a phone call from the care center in Ephraim saying a spot had opened up for Dad. Within the next week or two we'll take him there. As I laid awake last night crying I tried to find some kind of comfort in memories of my dad. Memories where he experienced joy in his journey of life. I closed my mind and thought of funny things and happy things and pictures. Pictures of my dad enjoying his journey.

I always loved President Monsons talk about finding joy in the journey. Even with the simple life my Dad lived and with what his life has been in the last 3 years, I find some sense of peace knowing he found simple joy in his journey.

Here are pictures of the last 2 little trips I've taken to Ephraim with the girls.

Our sweet neighbor Dennis comes once a week or so, to play hymns on his violin to my dad, its amazing the peace his music brings into the room.

Theres two things my Dad enjoys right now, food...touch. So I made him his favorite Rarebit (gravy over toast) and I gave him a pedicure. I know the rarebit looks gross but its delicious and fattening and dad ate 2 whole plates :)

Right after my mom told us Dad would probably be in a home sooner then we thought, I called Derek and he came straight down after class. It was his night off and I had originally planned on driving back home but instead we spent the night in Ephraim and some special time with my dad, all of us together.

After my poor dad started undressing himself over and over all night and day, I found a sight online that made clothes especially for the elderly who start doing embarrasing things like that because of dementia. Anyway these are the awesome onesie pjs we ordered that zip up in the back so Dad cant undress himself anymore. I was so excited to find them, we ordered him an outfit too that looks like a polo and sweat pants but its a one piece jumpsuit that zips in back...pretty cool :)

Last but not least. All of us together. I was so thankful Derek made the drive down. This picture will always mean a lot to me.